Τι λένε οι γάτες όταν λείπουμε

...
-So, what do you got there?
-Nothing, just biting my nails
-No. I mean, you have a human, right?
-Yeah, I’m no freelancing cat. Do you mean what kind of human?
-Yes, that.
-I got me a female.
-Never had one of that, tell me, how is she?
-Ermm, she is the caucasian type, tall like me, kinda soft, for a human I mean.
-Hairy enough?
-Hairy? No. That’s the hemale kind. She is hairy more like…you know, in a fluffier way.
-Oh, alright. Smelling nice?
-Yeah, I’m cool with that. She carries a soft powderish friendly scent, in a way, I guess… Oh, and she smokes! I hate that when she does it! But other than this, she is ok
-Yeah, I guess, she must be nice
-Not clean as a cat though.
-No human is. I wonder why they got their tongues. Such a waste…
-Yes and she bathes with water. What a waste of water.
-So, you are a human-loving cat
-You could say that. I have a tender caring loving relationship… and independent as well. No hidden cats, no strings attached, just free love.
-Some two-leg creatures are pretty cool
-She has very cold feet though
-Oh no!
-Oh yes! If I’ll send her to Antarctica we might stop the ice from melting
-That cold?
-It’s unbelievable. She could wake up a bear in winter with her feet.
-And how do you handle it?
-Always stay away from the feet, always. It’s the rule.
-You must really love her
-Yeah, she is alright.
-Cooking?
-Delivering mostly
-Mine too
-Yeah, nobody’s cooking these days. Only on television.
-Oh, oh, arrrgg…
-What? What?
-Nothing, I was stretching. My tail is killing me. Maybe I slept on it last night.
-I know that pain. Isn’t it like a kick in the balls and bucket of water splashed all over you kinda feeling?
-I don’t know what you are talking about. It’s more like a pain in the tail, tail-pain…
-Well…
-Oh, oh…
-That tail again?
-No. We must hang up now. I think my human is back and he doesn’t know that I can use the phone.
-Oh, I see, ok then…
-Thanks for calling… and making such a long-distance call from Greece
-Oh, my pleasure. Nice meeting you
-Me too. Bye-bye now!
-Bye!


Ποιόν να πάρω τώρα ρε γμτ? Να πάρω Ισπανία? Τι ώρα έχει πάει?

-Hola! ¿Hay un gato allí?
-¿como?